Thursday, February 11, 2010

A Name by Any Other Name

As I'm sure most of you know, a picture of me has been submitted (without my consent) to LIVE! with Regis and Kathie Lee Kelly's Beautiful Baby Search. Dad submitted my pic one hour before the deadline (classic Dad) on January 29th. Since then, I've gone back multiple times to see my pic but also to gauge my competition. You can filter the pics by letter so of course I go right for the A's. The first time I went, the "Avery" name began on page 280 or so with 10 pics per page. However, my pic was nowhere to be seen. Where's the fable?!?! As I've gone back over the last two weeks, the "Avery" names have started appearing on later and later pages. The 320s, 490s and now 710s. So, it appears they are adding pics on a regular basis and since my pic still isn't up, let's hope they're using FIFO or FIFP (First In, First Posted.) Since I had to be one of the last few posted, who knows when my pic will show up. When it does, I'll be sure to let you know and when it comes time to vote (March 1st) you'll get a call for action which I expect to spread like wild fire as you forward to your friends.

As I've been perusing the pics I've seen a lot of strong competition and a lot of... um, lets see how I should put this... non contenders? Yikes. My main take away from checking out the site is that there are a lot of STUPID PARENTS out there. I mean, come on folks, it's a beautiful baby competition and you're submitting a picture of your kid with food speared all over her face? Is that a cute picture? Maybe but it certainly makes it difficult to judge how "beautiful" your kid is. Also, I'm shocked at how much trouble these people had submitting pictures. When the picture is submitted, you have to select a cropped "thumbnail" view so they can fit 10 pics per page. There are all sorts of thumbnails with just backgrounds (which is the best part of the some of these pics), half faces, just hair, etc. There are also many that were submitted twice, sometimes with different thumbnails, sometimes with duplicate thumbnails. Now, I know some of you readers are not exactly computer wizards but that's likely because you are OLD and are scared of technology. This contest is limited to 6 - 48 month olds so the parents can't be too far off from Mom & Dad's age so what's their excuse. If you're not able to upload a picture to the information superweb, I'd be on the look out for Child Protective Services because you are clearly not smart enough to raise a child. I love that you have to pass a test to drive but not to have kids. BRUTAL!

Here's a collage of pics submitted by under-qualified parents. And this is really just a selection from the Av's so you can imagine how many exist among the SIXTY THOUSAND plus entries. Enjoy.


Oh, also, I was rather surprised by how many different versions of my name are out there. Here's the list with the one correct spelling and the 10 hatchet jobs that are close to my name. Poor kids.
Avaree
Avarey
Avary
Aver (typo?)
Averee
Averey
Averi
Averie
Avery
Avree
Avry

Remember, you can't take it with you, but you can lick it so no one else can take it when you're gone.

Until Later,
Avery

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